Mental Health Smoking

Smoking affects neurotransmitters including dopamine which is found in the 'reward center' of the brain. Wherever *that* is. 93% of mentally ill people smoke. We are self medicating. And it helps for sure.

I notice that when i am manic or in a mixed state i smoke much more than normal. Nicotine fits are closer together and more intense. And cigarettes are more satisfying. 

So there is an upside to crazy after all! 

Another New Clip

Here's another new clip just posted:

I've been working on my lighting. Trying to focus on one element at a time and I suppose the best part to start with is of course the *smoke*. So I am making sure it's more visible - I mean, now you can see the smoke wisps coming out of my nose when I am stream exhaling from my lips. Is that fancy or what?

Tonight it's uploading and Marlboro Gold 100s and CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR and coffee ice cream and um probably Ativan because I feel anxious which is pretty normal because I nearly always feel anxious.

Cigarettes, Ativan, Ice Cream and Superheroes... the solution to Life's Problems!

New Clips

The featured clips on the main page have been updated, there are a couple of new clips from the other day and a new clip just posted today which is below:


Clips I'm editing now include more VS 120s and some Reds chaining. :)

Hope you are having a great weekend! Mine is pretty damned smoky if I say so myself.

Chaining Reds and Other Clips

Some new clips are up and available via the front page's FEATURED CLIPS section - I'm still reorganizing the site - it's gonna be a long haul because there are over 600 clips to organize, tag and categorize. Fun fun, right? 

Anyway. Here is one of the new clips - Chaining Reds. You can actually kinda see my freckles in this one:

Chaining Reds 7.12.18
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There are a lot of things I want to do with the site, and a lot of content I want to offer, much of it free. It's slow going though because when I am not making clips I'm not earning and so I have to keep editing and shooting in the interim. With ADHD it makes it hard to focus in but I am sure I will make it all work somehow. Because I have to make it work, and because I am a stubborn motherfucker.

Today it's Reds and VS 120s for my smoking (and a very little sumpin sumpin in the greenery dept - yes, I'm smoking spirulina! ;) Jokes about algae aside (who can get enough algae jokes tho), I'm hopeful I can create a really entertaining site that you will enjoy visiting, with lots of stuff to do even if you are not buying my clips. 

But if you want to buy my clips, I will not stand in your way and in fact will appreciate the fuck out of that because I am the broke type. So thank you to all who have bought my clips in the past, and those who will hopefully buy my clips in the future. I'm working really hard to improve them with my limited resources - right now my focus is on the lighting and making sure the smoke really pops. (And practicing my double and triple french inhales) My apartment is so freaking small - and I don't actually have a bedroom, so I don't have a little cave I can decorate and cocoon in to smoke out and make clips with interesting backgrounds. But I have been moving stuff around the tiny living room and trying to carve out a little space where I can shoot somewhere else besides the futon upon which I slumber and brood.

I never know how much to write in this blog. I'm not good at staying on topic and tend to offer much information that you did not really request when you typed "smoking fetish" into a search engine. I may be a 'mood spoiler', though I hope not.  Anyway, I guess I've written enough/too much for now, so Imma go have a smoke and also the last of my 'smoke'.

Hope you are having a lovely Thursday!



I smoked a lot today. Thankfully i still have a pack left to get me through the night. I did some shooting today so my addiction is wide the fuck awake and demanding more more and more. Youd think itd be the opposite. Like if i smoked a lot, like really overdid it, i would be sick of smoking. But nope. Instead it is like someone flipped a switch and that switch is labeled Nicotine Fiending.

And that is exactly what i am doing right now. :)